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Saturday, November 04, 2006
Mood: *sigh*
Listening to: Ever2 2nb - I will close my Eyes
Ang dami dami kong iniisip...
Hindi ko na ikkwento kung paano kami nastranded na magkakapatid (Ate ko, Jeb and me) sa RiverBanks and it took us 3 hours to get home nung Undas. Nag-init pa ang ulo ko kay Jeb nun. And we were drenched in rain at sa MRT pa kami sumakay. San ka pa?
Tapos, 2 days ago...Jeb and I talked seriously while eating sa Shopwise Cubao. He was like "Le, wala ba talagang nagpaparamdam sayo? I mean, yung may pag-asang matuloy sa romance?" And I was really caught off-guard. Natahimik ako. Ano namang isasagot ko, eh wala nga talaga. So I was like "hindi naman ako naghahanap. naghihintay lang ako." And stuff. Nag-aalala daw sila ni Mama sa kin dahil daw 20 na ko and wala pa din.
Ayan, nalulungkot na naman ako.
Sometimes naiisip ko bakit ang unfair ng buhay. Nagpapakahirap naman ako. I know that walang taong nakukuha ang lahat ng gusto nila, pero why am I like this? Hanggang ngayon bitter pa din ako over what happened to MoA around 2 years ago? PInag-uusapan namin ngayon at nalulungkot na naman ako. I regret the decision I made until now. Once in a lifetime and poof.
They had to bring that up and I don't feel so good talking about it.
I am happy for Pao and what's happening to her life ngayon. Really! Kaya lang sino bang hindi maiinggit. I've sacrificed a lot for the past 3 years...pero hanggang ngayon nahihirapan pa din ako...my dream/goal is to work in Korea (seriously) and please don't give me crap na hindi ako makabansa and stuff. I want to go there dahil I wanna experience the things I didn't get to experience before. Sabi nga ni Jeb "I want to get all the things I want" and the explanation for that was "kasi dati hindi mo nakuha, ngayong may paraan ka to get it, gusto mo na makuha". The same thing applies to me.
Natural lang naman sigurong mainggit at maghangad ng mga bagay na wala ka, and I know I'm not doing anything bad to get them. Kung kaya ko. And I promised myself na makukuha ko yon. In the NEAR future.
It's just that I feel bad today. May mabigat pa rin sa loob ko. WTF its complicated and I can't even type half of what I want to say here....hindi ko naman maiiyak...dahil hindi ako maiyak...
 | | | tintin
November 6, 2006 11:48 PM PST
and you know what could be worse? yung 22 ka na, sobrang legal na to have a lovelife since graduating na, and malapit ng magtrabaho, yet, ala pa rin. sad noh?
nwei, got a continuation of this in my blog.. read na lang.. hehehe.. miss you kai!! | |
# reversed @
Saturday, November 04, 2006 11/4/2006 1:00:37 pm (kAi)
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